Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Painted lady in the statice

Painted lady in the statice

Well, actually that isn’t really an option. It should be “Where should I go?”

This is something that I have to make a decision about fairly soon. Not just because financially and logically, it’s the big decision I need to make, but because it is just bugging me that I haven’t settled into the idea enough to make this life changing event decision. I feel like I am in limbo.

It’s very easy to become complacent, when life is simple. It takes on its own rhythms and routines set in. It’s easy to avoid looking realities in the face and relegate them to the background, with the thought, “I’ll deal with it tomorrow.”

Tomorrow is here and gone and I STILL am in a quandary.

My place here with Georgia in San Diego is comfortable and easy, but temporary. We get on well and have an agreement through September, so I have a base to come and go from. With house sits coming up, a possible assignment in Vancouver and a trip to Montana on the agenda, it’s comforting knowing I have a place to come back to, instead of scrambling to find places to stay between house sits. That was the worst!

But then…

Durban: North Beach

Durban: North Beach

Pluses and Minuses

Financially, it makes sense for me to go back to Durban, share a flat with Susy, an old friend from school and renew friendships with the WhatsApp group of my old high school girl friends. And my dearest friend Rosemary lives there as well. It’s not that far to Mick and Debbie in Ashburton but I would need a car to get around. I love the weather and the beaches there and despite all the negative news, it is a wonderful place to live.

Or I could go down to the Cape and find a place near Biff and Julie and pick up the distillery gig again. But they are the only people that I know down there. The area is gorgeous but the weather? Not so much, as the winter gets downright cold. Again, I would need a car. But the Cape is “the” place to be, so should be considered carefully.

Or maybe I could delay the decision again! and go to New Zealand for the 6 months I’m allowed there…and then make a decision. Summer is the time to go, with amazing weather. But if I do that, then I definitely want to do some traveling while there. Campervan?

I think part of my indecision is that I am afraid to go back to South Africa, because it is SUCH a long way away. The trip is a killer, taking an average 36 hours. And expensive. So I’m afraid that once there, I’ll be stuck and won’t come back and then I’ll miss my family and friends here. Ideally, finances allowing, I would come back a couple of times a year for a couple of months.

So there you have it. Unless I win the lottery, it’s coming down to decision time. And I know from experience that once I make the decision, things fall into place and everything happens very rapidly. So I better make the right one.